Life of A Couponer

It was a warm, sunny day. J was playing outside on the neighbors toys, per usual. Our neighbor came outside with her kids and started up a conversation. It began normal enough with "How are you?" Then she asked me a life changing question.

"Do you like to coupon?"

Those were fatal words for a mother who is doing everything she knows how to be frugal. She added me to a Facebook group of fellow couponers. There were interesting posts about what some good deals were and then I saw it. A woman had gone into the store about bought somewhere around $290 worth of products and paid less than $50.

After that I have been hooked. I signed up for the papers, I printed coupons from www.coupons.com. I joined several review websites. I was going to start saving money!

Today was a win. I bought only stuff we had run out of. I got bananas for about $0.25 a lb and I got a lb of strawberries for $1. Friday is when I started and I have saved almost $75 using coupons and apps.

I have just begun this journey, but I am excited to see where it will go.

The Joys of Being Married!

I will always remember the 1st of November. It was the day I went to the temple to receive my endowment as I prepared to serve a mission. It was also the day that I returned to the temple 5 years later and was sealed to my wonderful husband. Marriage has been a wonderful blessing in my life.

There are moments when things may get difficult, but I am blessed and lucky to have a husband who stands next to me during difficult times and encourages me to do my best. Having a team to work together is a wonderful thing. There are also the tender moments that seem so small but take my breath away. One of my favorite moments of the day that could be seen as small and be looked over are when we pray together. It seems that Heaven is even closer when we pray as a family.

I have just been reflecting on the blessing of being married and how scared I was about it even a few years ago. It is worth every effort of dating, being rejected time and time again, and getting your heart "broken".

Also a Bonus to being married is to have children within a family. Baby Stenger Due September 2014!

Adversity

I have had a lot of time to think this past week. It has been a challenging week for me. I have thought a lot about my relationship with my Father in Heaven and how I respond in times of need. This last week I have been paying close attention to my reactions to that. It has been a surprising discovery. The thought that kept returning to my mind was something Elder Eyring said in general conference in April 2009.

"That aching for an answer to “How could this happen?” becomes even more painful when those struggling include those we love. And it is especially hard for us to accept when those afflicted seem to us to be blameless. Then the distress can shake faith in the reality of a loving and all-powerful God. Some of us have seen such doubt come to infect a whole generation of people in times of war or famine. Such doubt can grow and spread until some may turn away from God, whom they charge with being indifferent or cruel. And if unchecked, those feelings can lead to loss of faith that there is a God at all."

We have a goal as a relief society presidency this month to pray for half an hour everyday. At first I did great and I loved the time I took to speak to my Father in Heaven, but when the deep struggles came it became harder and harder until I was barely managing to say my morning and evening prayers. I cannot pinpoint exactly why I struggled with praying but it was a moment of checking myself today when I really saw what was happening in my heart. The thought kept coming back gently to my mind to not turn away from God in times of need but to turn to Him completely and rely on the Atonement. I love a later part of that same talk that says:

"My purpose today is to assure you that our Heavenly Father and the Savior live and that They love all humanity. The very opportunity for us to face adversity and affliction is part of the evidence of Their infinite love. God gave us the gift of living in mortality so that we could be prepared to receive the greatest of all the gifts of God, which is eternal life. Then our spirits will be changed. We will become able to want what God wants, to think as He thinks, and thus be prepared for the trust of an endless posterity to teach and to lead through tests to be raised up to qualify to live forever in eternal life.

It is clear that for us to have that gift and to be given that trust, we must be transformed through making righteous choices where that is hard to do. We are prepared for so great a trust by passing through trying and testing experiences in mortality. That education can come only as we are subject to trials while serving God and others for Him"

Heavenly Father does truly love each of us and suffers when we suffer and weeps when we make mistakes. He wants us to live with Him again and to have what He has. He will help us to get there if we rely on the Hope the Atonement of Jesus Christ in our lives.

Heart Captured

We all have walls we put around our heart to keep it protected. Some of these walls may just be picket fences while others are are comparable to the wall of China. There comes a time when a person walks right up to those walls with a key and gets through your defenses without a fight. How they do it, is the question hanging in the air. Once they are in the inner sanctum of your heart they seem to leave a piece of themselves. This piece stays as a reminder of the presence they had in your life. This is where fairy tales begin. Heartache begins in the same place, because sometimes you are lucky enough to hold the key through their defenses, but sometimes you are left outside pounding on a door which will never be answered. 

There will come another who will holds a key to get through again, and you may be able to get through to them or not. At some point there will come a time  where each person will hold a key or be strong enough to break through the walls. Then your very own fairy tale will begin with its own challenges and obstacles but you will have someone there with you to be your support in the good and the bad. There will be more defenses to go through and mountains to climb. It won't be an easy journey, but your heart has been captured and you have captured someone's. Make the most of it, and don't give up through the journey of discovering who that person will be.

Its the Lords plan, not mine.

I was thinking today about where I would be if I followed my plans in my life. It scares me to think about it sometimes. I don't like looking down that road long. Then I look at the opposite side of the coin. Where I am now because of the guidance from my Father in Heaven. Its true there were and still are many times I don't listen right away. I think of all the other options even though I know what felt right the first time. I wait for a confirmation, I keep searching hoping for something more concrete to walk upon in my journey. The concrete seems to show up the most though after I have put my whole body weight where I am hoping the concrete will be.

An example of this has happened in the last few months. I have been on an interesting journey to say the least. It all starts in the summer of 2008. I was in the Nauvoo Brass Band on a service mission. I was playing my trombone, and having the time of my life. That summer I was changed in ways I never thought possible. This decision lead me to serve a full-time mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Houston, Texas. There are not words in any human language that can express the transformation that happened inside of me while I spent those eighteen months in Texas. Was it grueling, yes it was. Was I tired most of the time, oh yes. Did I make mistakes, every single day, probably every hour or minute. Was it worth every footstep, bike pedal, and drop of sweat. YES it was!

I had no idea the changes that were going to come in my life. I could not even fathom the possibility. Heavenly Father makes good things into better things, and better things into great things, and great things into perfection through His Son, the Savior of the world. That is what happened He took me, someone who was basically good, and molded me into something a little better. He does that for each of us each day if we let him.

The next set of this journey fast forwards 16 months. I realized I would not be able to go to Nauvoo again because I was going to be to old. I thought about it, prayed about it, and weighed out the pros and cons. I focused on myself and the goals I wanted. I luckily had a good friend who encouraged me to audition. I sent in my audition tape two days before it was due on the desk. It made it. I got call-back auditions. I found a place to live, and it seemed perfect. How could I leave, how could I skip school and working over the summer? These were all questions plaguing me. I started again to focus on what my plan for myself was, I focused on me.

I went to Institute and the teacher taught about sacrifice and the sacrifice he made to serve 18 more months than was asked of him originally. I remembered some dreams I had. I went to the temple the next day, and while there I lost focus of my plan and saw a small part of someone else's plan for me. I was able to glimpse my Heavenly Fathers plan for me. I decided on that day that if I made it into the Nauvoo Brass Band I would go and I would quit asking myself questions about how my plan would be fulfilled, and focus on how the Lord's plan would be fulfilled.

I found out yesterday that I did in fact make it into the Nauvoo Brass Band. I will be serving for just under 4 months as a service missionary in Nauvoo once again. I feel so peaceful, and excited. I feel a purpose coming into my being that I lacked for a while. I felt like I was drifting in the ocean with only a life jacket to keep me from sinking sometimes. There were other times where I was in a boat rowing as fast as I could in the direction I thought I should be heading as well. The best thing to do though is not drift, and not row in your own place, but to let Heavenly Father use the wind and the currents to take you where He needs you to be. I am so very grateful for the gentle nudging, and endless course corrections my Father in Heaven provides for me. He has a plan for us and it is perfect, and wonderful.

I just had these feelings bursting out of my heart and wanting to fall somewhere besides my pillow. "Man is that they might have joy." We can have that joy if we quit self-guiding ourselves and listen to that still small voice which leaves no confusion. God loves each of us, and knows our needs. This I do know for myself.

Finding Peace

During a week of turmoil, stress of failure, and lack of the essentials such as food or sleep, I was able to find a little slice of peace today. Its amazing the emotions that do come out when I take the time to sincerely ponder in my own thoughts. I have been pondering a lot the last few days. One of the main themes I have been asking myself is where is my foundation of faith? I went through and thought about the faith I had in daily study of the word of God, and daily prayer. I also have faith in keeping the Sabbath day holy, tithing, fasting, and many other things. One of my friends brought up a very significant point that made me stop and rethink where I was on life. He told me that I was not as good as I thought I was. At first I felt a little offended. My thoughts were that I was trying my best to show everyone how good I really was. As this thought kept going through my mind I realized the huge flaw that was in my thought process.

Life is not about showing others how good you are or how bad you are. It is not about being impressive to your friends or colleagues. It is not about hiding your imperfections from the world so you feel good about yourself. It is not about doing things on your own. I will tell you some of my thoughts about what life really is about. Life is about being who you are where you are in the moment and not trying to hide it from the world. Life is about making mistake,s sometimes big one,s and repenting and learning and growing. Life is about helping others to know the Savior. Life is about coming to know on a very personal basis, Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of the world. The entire purpose of life is to gain this relationship, and testimony that is so strong that everything will either fall into place or fall out of your life.

These questions really helped me refocus my attention on the Savior. It helped remind me that no matter how many commandments or rules I keep, no matter how many times I go to church and refrain from making a mistake, non of that really matters unless all my efforts are pointing to Jesus Christ. I feel like I have been doing things backwards a little. The Savior comes first, that relationship is what helps us with everything else in our lives. I want to know my Redeemer on a more personal level so that I can always trust Him. That is what life is about.

One Paragraph Girl

So I like the idea of writing down thoughts and feelings on a blog because even though no one reads it, I still feel like maybe someone out there is caring what those thoughts of mine are. I have decided though that I am a one paragraph type of girl. I don't share what is inside my heart very often. I rarely share my fears with people, even close friends. I sometimes share my accomplishments but only to those I am closest with. My dad and mom probably know me better than any human living on this earth. I turn to them and talk to them about what is going on in my life. I don't feel there is anything wrong with being a one paragraph girl, just something I noticed about my writing styles in my life.